Your baby has finally arrived!  Does your baby look like you had imagined?  Are you feeling overwhelmed and want to shut yourself away from the rest of the world?  Do you not recognize your reflection in the mirror?  Do you feel inadequate or worse yet, do you feel confused, let down and disappointed that you are not experiencing a form of automatic bliss?  Are you feeling a million emotions all at the same time and having trouble deciding exactly how you feel?  Welcome to a whole new world:  a whole new world called motherhood. And remember that motherhood blues come along with it. Atleast for some women it does. And motherhood blues is an absolutely normal thing.

                        Don't get us wrong!  Most women are genetically programmed to have what it takes to quickly adapt to the needs of being a mother.  The fact that you have read so far talks highly about your desire to rise above your emotionally fragile state to provide a rock solid motherly presence for your baby!  And if you are reading this worried that you might be the minority that hasn't yet adapted quickly:  DON'T WORRY!  Just Read On.  We are here to help you.  So, let's start with the basics.

1.  You are a mother now.  It is just a fact of life that you need to get used to.  You cannot send your baby back to your belly!  Not that you would want to.  However, not feeling the exhilaration is normal. I repeat - not feeling the exhilaration is absolutely normal!  In fact, it's normal to feel abnormal.  Your life has now changed forever!  Accept it.  Get used to it.

2.  Do you miss your pre-pregnancy body?  Don't worry about this also!  Your body is going to get back to normal.   It's only a matter of time.  Your body went through nine months of increasing weight changes.  So it is only normal for it to take that long to get you looking hot again! But it takes work.  Follow your post-delivery instructions and you will get there.

3.  Remember:  You and your baby are unique!  There is no one best way to deal with all the issues you may encounter.  Even though you have access to a lot of books and a lot of other websites, remember that it is perfectly normal that some of the tricks/tips given in those books, sites, and even this website (although not as much) don't work.  With experience you'll find that some of those advises might work wonders while others might fail miserably.  Once again, this is because you and your baby are unique and therefore require unique solutions to unique situations!

4.  It is normal to not know how to handle a baby!  It is more important however to realize it as normal and to learn as quickly as possible.  Learn from your baby.  Books are great, but there's no substitute for actual experience with your infant.  Slowly you will get tuned in to his/her needs and you will start discovering the enchantments of motherhood.

5.  Your husband needs to take on an equal role!  However, remember that men and women respond differently to different situations.  If you feel your man is not helping with changing diapers or is just not sharing an equal part, remember that he is experiencing a different set of parameters.  It is a difficult time for him as well.  Men in general feel the need to be providers.  The addition of a new member to your family adds responsibility - Responsibility to provide for the baby also!  It is normal for them to go into a shell or to start working more.  It may seem unfair for us to ask you to empathize with him when you feel like you need the empathy more, but try.  Put yourself in his shoes and then take time to communicate honestly and openly with your husband.  A baby can be very stressful, but you can turn this stress around to your advantage and help renew your wedding ties.  A little understanding and communication goes a long way and slowly when he understands (without having to read your mind) you can expect him to start helping out.

6.  Your sexual drive and/or response may feel altered.  This is normal also.  But once again, remember the nine month saga!  For nine months your hormones were taken for a ride and the levels don't normalize immediately after your child's birth.  Luckily, you don't have to wait for another nine months for this issue to be resolved. Be patient and you will get there.  Your hot summer nights are just around the corner!  Your nights of passionate love-making are just around the corner!

7.  Get used to chaos!  If you have been used to an orderly and scheduled life and planned everything, then understand that your baby does not share the same ideas.  Give your baby time and slowly things will fall into place.

8.  If you feel insecure or think you aren't or won't be a good mother, remember that it's in a woman's nature to be nurturing.  You are programmed to learn and adapt!  Read and learn from other's experiences and most importantly, learn from your baby!  Just be open to learning and you will get there.

9.  For those of you who think your baby will not change your life, think again!  Your baby is going to change your life, absolutely and positively, for the better or for the worse!  It's the definition of change.  Your baby is a new person in your life and something new is a change from the old!  To make this new (mother/baby) relationship work, you will have to make sacrifices and take time to nurture your baby.  Try to understand and adapt to your infant's needs.  We are told that this is one of the most rewarding relationships in the world!  Don't miss out on it.

10.  Getting treated for post partum depression does not mean that you are mad!  You are as normal as normal can be. Your hormonal levels have fluctuated quite a bit with the pregnancy and post-delivery.  Not to mention this society will drive you crazy at times. So it is perfectly normal to get professional help from a clinical psychologist or even better from a psychiatrist. And once again, you are not mad! You are helping yourself and your baby.  And it is very normal to ask for help!  Remember, mad people do not do that and can not do that. So do not hesitate to seek help if you believe you are going through post partum depression. The early symptoms are very much recognisable. Do not enter a state of self denial if you sincerely feel you are going through a stage of depression. If you feel depressed, chances are you are slowly approaching post partum depression and remember its very easy to get back on track if you seek help soon. So go ahead and get to the doctor who saw you through pregnancy or get to a psychiatrist. NO........And we stress it. NO NO NO NO NO. You are not mad.

11.  The first three months are going to be difficult!  Or they just might be different.  After approval from your doctor, you can start on all your exercises and aerobics and work on getting your life back together.  Just remember that you will have to make some sacrifices but you don't have to change who you are. A balance is possible and it is in your hands. Also, make time for your husband. Remember that you both might not feel the same closeness and that is normal.  But do try to spend time and re-kindle that relationship that you shared.  Work on it!  It'll be worth it.

12.  Once again, welcome to Motherhood!  Keep your cool.  Learn from your baby.  Seek professional help when either you or your baby needs it.  Read as much as you can.  Verify your family's advice with your doctor.  Spend some 'alone time' with your husband and enjoy the journey!  Congratulations!  You are a mom now!